It’s time now for Golden Rule Jones Theater. Today we present a scene loosely adapted from Sam Shepard’s most famous play, True West. In the dual role of Austin and Lee, the battling brothers of Shepard’s theatrical masterpiece, is your host, me, Sam Jones. The role of Mom is played by the Sunday Chicago Sun-Times.
MOM: Oh, that reminds me. You boys will probably never guess who’s in town. Try and guess.
(long pause, brothers stare at her)
AUSTIN: Whatya’ mean, Mom?
MOM: Take a guess. Somebody very important has come to town. I read it, coming down on the Greyhound.
LEE: Somebody very important?
MOM: See if you can guess. You’ll never guess.
AUSTIN: Mom — we’re trying to uh —(points to writing pad)
MOM: Chesterton. (pause) G. K. Chesterton’s in town. Isn’t that incredible? March 10th. He’s signing his new book.
AUSTIN: Chesterton’s dead, mom.